what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize