My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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