We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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