I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize