She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
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I just want nice things and good sex
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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