Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize