I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
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I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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