hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize