I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize