I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
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