I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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