He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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