I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I believe in your delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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