Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
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I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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