Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize