Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize