1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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