do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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