he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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