No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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