I need help removing her.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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