is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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