so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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