I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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