my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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