Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize