I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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