As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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