You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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