Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize