I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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