My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
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youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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