She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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