dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize