i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize