Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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