I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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