eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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