Umm I'm too high to move.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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