Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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