And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
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I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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