It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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