Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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