I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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