These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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