i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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