You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize