I think im going to throw up on grandma
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize