I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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