Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
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I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
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Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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